North Korea, Best Korea!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
