I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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