plz talk dirty to me
I love black thongs
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
