I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Where did you get a picture of my penis
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
