dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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