Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
