real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
