Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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