How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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