I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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