But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
