It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Girls should come with a carfax report
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
