Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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