hell yes lets make some ravioli
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
