somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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