it was like eating out sand paper
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
