whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
