so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
