We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
