She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
