I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A+ Viking dick
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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