he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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