Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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