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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Who?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Chris brown

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  No way... I bet he was intense

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

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• (+32): View more from Belgium

  We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry

  (1-307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm hurrying

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude. She just shit herself.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that

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• (360): View more from Washington

  ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.

  (817): View more from Texas

  For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand

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