I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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