i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
