i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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