you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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