you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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