OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
