Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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