I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
3 2 1 whiskey
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
