I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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