Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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