Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm really busy with my period
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