i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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