I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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