That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
