you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
