I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
