12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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