We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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