Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
