I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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