my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Randomize
