everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
