you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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