Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
