Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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