you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
